I read that too, and just thought to myself "You just need more whiskey for that to make sense"

I think too much whisky is the cause of the problem here, not the solution.

right, but if we attain equilibrium with their amount of whiskey, then we have a better chance of understanding. just like listening to the 2 people that have been at the bar all day. they understand each other perfectly, but to someone less inebriated, it's total non-sense/jiberish. so, for science, more whiskey is needed.

All of the "typos" are spelled correctly, for a very stupid value of correctly. The cause of the problem would appear to be autocorrect.

> "wild beef"

?

I assume that came from "would be"; "wild" is trivial to explain via autocorrect, but "beef" is trickier. Maybe something like "wold bef".

---edit---

After further study, I'm pretty sure the original message was

"I dream of such a system that could be fitted on or in my body and would release poison if not acknowledged.

Should I become incapacited, the decision on how I end would be truly mine. "

The recent autoincorrect made available from Apple is driving me absolute bonkers. On macOS version of Messages is infuriating on how slowly it updates the text as I type, and then goes off and changes things before it even finishes what I've typed. On iOS, it is infuriating in different ways

What gets me about autocorrect is that it's a system which "recovers" from minor mistakes of trivial significance by occasionally turning them into gigantic, opaque mistakes that completely prevent comprehension. (See above.)

Imagine if the solution to "10% of the time, when I boot up my computer, it takes an extra second or three to boot" were "the unpredictable lag in booting is gone, but, 0.5% of the time, when you boot your computer, it will melt. Don't keep it near anything flammable."

The cost of autocorrect failing once is far higher than the total benefit of every success you ever get out of it. Who thought this tradeoff made sense?

Yes, thank you :)