I appreciate how fast you moved through the content. The audio seems pleasantly paced but the visuals move too super fast. Especially the section where you're 'simply filling out a profile.' It was losing me and i can pretty well guess what was happening. A typical small business owner won't have the same attitude that filling out web forms is something that is so obvious there's no need to talk about it. I'd slow that part down or get rid of it, or at least restrict it to a single static image.

In general, it seems close to what you would need to show to a software guy or maybe an investor. However, I'd say it's too fast and assumes too much prior knowledge of how Daily Deal businesses run to show to your average small business owner.

I agree with pgroves, that it moves too fast in many areas, and maybe you are trying to cover too much info.

You also start with so much jargon I think. You wouldn't (I hope) introduce your product as 'a hosted daily deals solution for SMB retailers to do group buying deals', so why would you say it that way in the video?

Record how you talk about your company (or how others do) and get a feel for what actually explains, not the big corporate brand yadda yadda.

Think googles 'organize the worlds information' not 'a search engine backed by world-class patented page-rank algorithm which measures the popularity of webpages...'

Keep it simple, and clean. Tell people one thing, lead them to want to know more.

In my opinion, I have absolutely no idea what's going on in most parts. I'm technical, and I can see you're adding something, viewing something, and showing PayPal... but why?

I didn't play it with audio, because I'm hearing impaired which means I wouldn't really understand anyway.

In my opinion, make the video understandable without audio. That should mean it won't go too fast, you won't be showing stuff that people have absolutely no idea about, etc.

Also remember, when people are browsing a site, and they have everything on mute... can they really be bothered to pick up their headphones, unmute their computer just to listen to a sales pitch?