It would not "offset whatever you're making". The economy isn't set up so the most cynical option is true. (I can beat you in cynicism anyway - most people don't have salaries so you'd now outbid non-workers such as the elderly by 4x what you did before.)

This is currently coming up as people claiming all stimulus bills will cause inflation, but there's no inflation in the US for the last 30 years, when we did have it the cause was an energy price spike, and so they have no empirical evidence.

The problem is not inflation. The problem is if you raise everyone's salary, the cost to produce increases. Therefore the cost of products must go up.

That is true (it's called "cost disease") but, like, it's fine. It doesn't go up enough to make it harder to afford. Typically things that actually get much more expensive recently, like housing, have physical supply problems more than anything.