> it would be irresponsible for us to adopt while both of us are working.
Why have you convinced yourself of this? You do realize that the vast majority of families have both parents working. Is it irresponsible for all of us to have done so?
I too struggled with the fear before having children. Fear that it would ruin my personal life, my fun, my recreation; fear that lack of sleep would kill me; fear that I wouldn't be any good at it. All of it unfounded, as the instincts we are all born with kicked in and gave me the strength I needed to adapt.
You can do both. In fact, if your work is already taking over your life to the extent where you can't imagine having the time for children, there's a strong chance your quality of life will improve because the children will force you (and give you an emininently socially acceptable excuse to) step back and change how your time is allocated.
Specifically, as far as adoption is concerned, you're also faced with knowing that you could provide an excellent home for someone who may very well end up in a much worse situation otherwise. The horror stories of people who adopt children just to get a cheque... you personally can make a difference on this front.
All of this wealth flows to us working in tech, more than most of our ancestors ever had... to not use our security to raise good children is at once both a waste of ten thousand years of sacrifice, and also a shirking of our own personal responsibility to society. I know that social contract feels like it's breaking down, but it is only through our actions that we can mend it, and raising good children who still believe in civil society is probably one of the best ways of doing that.
Your chance is not over unless you choose for it to be.
Why have you convinced yourself of this? You do realize that the vast majority of families have both parents working. Is it irresponsible for all of us to have done so?
I too struggled with the fear before having children. Fear that it would ruin my personal life, my fun, my recreation; fear that lack of sleep would kill me; fear that I wouldn't be any good at it. All of it unfounded, as the instincts we are all born with kicked in and gave me the strength I needed to adapt.
You can do both. In fact, if your work is already taking over your life to the extent where you can't imagine having the time for children, there's a strong chance your quality of life will improve because the children will force you (and give you an emininently socially acceptable excuse to) step back and change how your time is allocated.
Specifically, as far as adoption is concerned, you're also faced with knowing that you could provide an excellent home for someone who may very well end up in a much worse situation otherwise. The horror stories of people who adopt children just to get a cheque... you personally can make a difference on this front.
All of this wealth flows to us working in tech, more than most of our ancestors ever had... to not use our security to raise good children is at once both a waste of ten thousand years of sacrifice, and also a shirking of our own personal responsibility to society. I know that social contract feels like it's breaking down, but it is only through our actions that we can mend it, and raising good children who still believe in civil society is probably one of the best ways of doing that.
Your chance is not over unless you choose for it to be.