Over time security measures always cause friction. You'll always be the annoying presence, the naysayer, the 'needlessly' difficult person. Effective security imposes restrictions, hurts egos and interferes in natural social responses.
It's funny you say that my way of working literally makes people want to do the opposite of trust me, when I send them a phishing e-mail that's exactly what I'm aiming for ;P
I've worked at a place where the security team were a detached, nagging presence. Devs only interacted with them when they had to, so security became an afterthought.
I've also worked at a place where the security team were trusted collaborators. Devs were comfortable communicating with them. Their security skills improved over time, and so did the security of the software they wrote.
The latter strategy is far more effective at moving the needle over the long term.
It's funny you say that my way of working literally makes people want to do the opposite of trust me, when I send them a phishing e-mail that's exactly what I'm aiming for ;P