I agree that some commentary has an unfortunate undercurrent of virgin-shaming, but "incel" was never in common use as a neutral descriptor. Most people familiar with the term today have only ever seen it used as a reference to that particular subculture; the more general uses from the early 2000s are virtually unheard of, to the point that most people I've talked to about it think the /r/incels subreddit invented the term.