I've been working from home for about 16 months, and I'm afraid my partner doesn't quite get what a different head space I am in when I'm working, when she comes for a friendly visit if she isn't busy herself. I can seem cold and even abrupt, sometimes, when she comes to see me. But it takes so long to get in that space, it is hard to be brought out of it.

Ironic thing is, she also works from home about 80-90% of the time. Guess she inhabits that mind-set more easily than I do!

I recommend you set boundaries and expectations.

This is the biggest issue for me. Work puts me into a very different mindset(i.e. an asshole) and without obvious signs of when I am or am not working my wife doesn't know how to interact with me.

That’s really difficult in the beginning. Like others have said, boundaries are awesome. One thing I did that helped a lot is simply asking if I’d pop into their work to sit and ask a few questions. The answer has always been no. So I ask that they not do that when I’m at work either.

That’s helped in most if not all cases.

> There isn’t anyone popping over my shoulder, and general interruptions are almost nil in my case. I think a lot of people are going to be super surprised what a quiet room and your playlist of choice can do to increase productivity. Just my 2 cents.

It's the same for me – at home, and the opposite at the office. I live alone.

Yeah, I think many people don't realize that working from home during a pandemic is not a normal work from home experience. Normally, that someone popping over your shoulder would be at work, school, day care or otherwise outside playing during most of the working day. A lot of people working from home today are responsible for a lot more than their work, which is distracting in and of itself.

Outside of all that, it comes down to self-discipline.

this is exactly the reason I prefer the office .. I have 2 kids, 5 & 2, and if I'm home they are very much used to me being around them or doing something together, working from home is not ideal

My son is 5 and he knows what my door is for. He still comes in occasionally but it's pretty manageable. The 2 year old is a different matter, but soon we'll get daycares back so no biggie.

A door helps tremendously.

As a free instrument for them to bang on while screaming ‘Papa!’ At the top of their lungs?

If you think a door would stop 2 kids aged 2-5, I don't think you have lived in the same house with kids aged 2-5.

It may seem crazy to some, but kids aged 2-5 can actually learn things and be taught that when a parent is in their office, they are not to be bothered. I have a 2 and a 4 year old at home, and they know what my office is for.

That being said, their games in the other rooms of the house are occasionally pretty loud, but is it really worse than an open office?

Yes, we watched my nephew from birth to just over 3 years old for 16 hours a day while I worked. He learned that if the door was closed it meant I was busy. At times when I had on music he knew he could come in and sit and listen while I worked as long as he didn’t talk.

He grew up that way though, so YMMV of course.

Before this, I was just not able to work at home. I was always distracted and would only get a half day of work in at best. But finally had to actually buckle down and set up my desk. And set boundaries for interruptions. I could really use an actual KVM, but otherwise working from home is finally nice for me.

A normal schedule helps, but there are a number of other things which need to align in order for it to work. I'm guessing you have those things and take them for granted or you would have listed them.

A proper work environment is key, including limiting distractions and proper ergonomics. You also need co-habitants which respect and understand the boundaries and work rules. It really helps to have a house. I live in an apartment and can't control the distractions(literally as I hit 'reply' someone started a power saw in the garage below my office).