What he mentions about people being superficially nice to allow for more selectiveness is very interesting. I think it’s hard to say that being direct from the get go about interest is ideal beyond that reason alone because friendship with people is something you build, not something you immediately just know you’ll have when you meet someone. If you don’t feign interest in the beginning you’ll miss out on all the people who you could have become good friends with only after a certain level of closeness.

While feigning interest causes people to second guess themselves, I think being direct could also do the same. If I know someone I’ve just met will tell me they don’t like me if I don’t give them a good impression I’ll be constantly trying to please them. Though I guess if you’re also trying to be highly direct things become even more complicated.

It seems like there are far more social dimensions to this than I’d first thought.