In my friend's case, the process of removing her name from the records was something she learned about online in an ex-Mormon support group. Nobody in the church told her about it despite contacting multiple people in the church multiple times to ask to stop getting contacted. When she heard about it, her first reaction was that it was probably an urban legend, since nobody from the church even told her it existed, much less suggested it as the right way to accomplish what she was asking for. She was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a legit thing.

How can you keep doubting that this happens consistently and by design? When my friend connected online with other people who left the church, she heard lots of stories identical to hers. They're not crazy people. They're just people who wanted to leave the church.