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> Even the simple act of two people wanting to go through the same door at the same time is an impossible conundrum.

I believe that the optimal solution to this problem is to offer, and then if there is a counter-offer, take it. If the other person is offended then they have followed the letter of the social law but do not understand it in their hearts. In addition, it is often polite to take what is offered to you.



  La extrema urbanidad y cortesía
  agota y cansa la paciencia mía.
  Figúrate lector, y es un ejemplo,
  que entrar queremos en sala, alcoba o gabiente
  y que somos por juntos seis o siete.

  ¿No es un feroz y bárbaro tormento el
  "pase Usted primero" y "faltaría mas, caballero"?
  Y han así de pasar horas galanes y señoras[1],
  estando todos ellos convencidos 
  de lo inútiles que son tales cumplidos.

  Voy a dar aquí un mínimo consejo[1],
  y mírese quien quiera en este espejo:
  cuando te digan que pases adelantes, 
  no te hagas rogar, pasa al instante.

                      Figueroa
[1] Paraphrased, I don't remember this verse right now.


it's not just polite to accept offers. It allows the other person to feel good for the act of giving.


That's absolutely true. But I think it's worth noting just how often polite acts are specifically for making others feel good. The two things are meant to be fundamentally linked.




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