From what you describe, it sounds to me like these parents are not meddling in the lives of their children, which might instill a greater degree of the children feeling on their own at an earlier age rather than feeling strongly dependent upon guiding forces. I don't wish to encourage this manner of absent parenting, but what you describe of the parents' behavior sounds quite different from the things that would lead to the children feeling helpless and without coping skills — as they are already without their parents help and must cope on their own.