I worked with someone who rotated the same asinine 1/2 dozen or so comments about me and my appearance or arrival time etc. It annoyed the shit out of me, but, I also realized he probably didn't know another way. Sometimes people are trying to find any way, in their limited ability, to connect with someone who is clearly smarter than they are. So they pick on you. A good first attempt to stop this is to try to connect with them. Sometimes that stops this behavior.
This really doesn't fall into the 'I need to report this person' category, but, my guy didn't stop even when I got to know him.
So, realizing he was stuck in a loop I came up with my own canned, corny, responses.
'Got your hair cut!' --> 'No, I got them all cut!'
'You are early today!' --> 'Yep, I couldn't wait to be here!'
'Red shirt today!' --> 'Yep, I read it before I put it on!'
Note: These are not confrontational.
Two things happened.
1. I didn't have to think about what to say but once, then I repeated that. Cognitive offload.
2. He began to recognize how repetitive he was and eventually he either said 'good morning' or nothing. A win for everyone.
I have a million stories of idiots at work who are intimidated by the smart, quiet computer guy and so they pull dumb shit like this.
The one I hate the most is when someone gives you a nickname.
Rarely is it flattering and I struggled with how to deal with that for a long time. We intentionally don't call each other names in my family so it was always bit jarring. I tried everything: getting mad, addressing it directly nicely, ignoring it hoping it would stop, joking about it.
Nothing worked, until I tried the following.
The very first time someone gave me a nickname, I immediately gave them one. It doesn't have to be mean, just anything really. If it has a little stank on it thats ok too. Just don't get personal. Idiots will give you a nickname and smile. So, do that too, smile. Then every single time you hear it, you say their nickname. You don't call them their nickname except as a response to hearing yours. That's the key. If you use it outside of this context it does not communicate your message.
Eventually they will stop or find someone else to annoy.
Just a small tip since this entire thread is about socializing effectively, referring to yourself as extremely smart and others as morons bothering you with their attempts at friendship will not earn you points.
In general if you think you are smart the best way to demonstrate that is not by telling people about it. To paraphrase Geto Boys: “real gangstas don’t flex nuts cause real gangstas know they got em”
Excellent point, thank you. I agree. I meant 'idiot' in the pejorative sense and I felt my audience was the quiet computer types. Your point is well taken though because people can be smart in a lot of different ways.
this was so unexpected to read here (though i suppose the presence of that song in office space allowed it to permeate into geek culture) but I really appreciate you using their words to make a salient point. rip bushwick bill
I worked with someone who rotated the same asinine 1/2 dozen or so comments about me and my appearance or arrival time etc. It annoyed the shit out of me, but, I also realized he probably didn't know another way. Sometimes people are trying to find any way, in their limited ability, to connect with someone who is clearly smarter than they are. So they pick on you. A good first attempt to stop this is to try to connect with them. Sometimes that stops this behavior.
This really doesn't fall into the 'I need to report this person' category, but, my guy didn't stop even when I got to know him.
So, realizing he was stuck in a loop I came up with my own canned, corny, responses.
'Got your hair cut!' --> 'No, I got them all cut!' 'You are early today!' --> 'Yep, I couldn't wait to be here!' 'Red shirt today!' --> 'Yep, I read it before I put it on!'
Note: These are not confrontational.
Two things happened.
1. I didn't have to think about what to say but once, then I repeated that. Cognitive offload. 2. He began to recognize how repetitive he was and eventually he either said 'good morning' or nothing. A win for everyone.
I have a million stories of idiots at work who are intimidated by the smart, quiet computer guy and so they pull dumb shit like this.
The one I hate the most is when someone gives you a nickname.
Rarely is it flattering and I struggled with how to deal with that for a long time. We intentionally don't call each other names in my family so it was always bit jarring. I tried everything: getting mad, addressing it directly nicely, ignoring it hoping it would stop, joking about it.
Nothing worked, until I tried the following.
The very first time someone gave me a nickname, I immediately gave them one. It doesn't have to be mean, just anything really. If it has a little stank on it thats ok too. Just don't get personal. Idiots will give you a nickname and smile. So, do that too, smile. Then every single time you hear it, you say their nickname. You don't call them their nickname except as a response to hearing yours. That's the key. If you use it outside of this context it does not communicate your message.
Eventually they will stop or find someone else to annoy.