But then they'll grow plants whose prices are boosted by subsidies, and we can't afford the extra subsidies. And of course limiting the volume of subsidized plants would be seen as a socialist takeover of farming... just imagine if the government had the nerve to tell farmers how much of a government-subsidized crop they could grow! The farmers (aka Archer Daniels Midland) would be outraged.
You know, I don't grow anything on my land but grass and a few decorative plants. Where's my government handout?
Buy an Irish Dexter (miniature) cow or a goat and I'm sure you'll be able to get a subsidy for beef/milk/wool/something. It'll also save you time as you won't have to mow the grass or trim the plants... although you may have to watch the land mines and have to wrangle the occasional goat out of a tree, but you might get to sit on your ass and get government handouts.