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> my wife thought it would be helpful for me to start cooking, as she was getting stressed out with our 2 years old.

This seems like a good opportunity to see if there is more labor (emotional or physical) that your wife is doing that she could use a hand with.

> My wife doesn't have nag me about what I what I want for the week's dinner

Meal planning is work. She is doing a job for the family. She is trying to include your preferences in the calculus of meal planning. Balancing nutrition, variety, individual preferences, cost, and difficulty is a non-trivial problem to solve every week.

When you say she is 'nagging' you about what you want for dinner, take a step back and consider what that is telling others (including your wife) about how much you value that work.



Tangent:

Tip from a long-time husband: If you often have the perception of your wife "nagging" you, there's probably a relationship-antipattern in effect that you'll want to deal with as soon as you have the emotional energy. IMO, perceived nagging can be the narrow end of a big wedge between a couple.


There is a little more to the story, I just shortened the story for the sake of brevity. Cause technically I'm supposed be working on an API issue.

I value all my wife does around the house and for the family.


HN: come for the engineering talk, stay for the relationship advice.


The point I was trying to articulate was broader than individual relationship advice. It's more about recognizing and respecting the work everyone does -- especially the work that's taken for granted.


In my experience successful engineers are successful in relationships. Life is the biggest agile engineering project one engages in.


[flagged]


I know, right? What with all the 'treating other humans with dignity' and 'respecting the work they do'.

Wild.


Please don't do this here.




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