While I was reading your comment I was reminded of a professor I had in law school (for some reason...), he was almost 70, but he still had a ridiculous amount of energy. He had grown a law firm that I believe he sold when he was in his 40s? And then he used some of the proceeds to buy some sort of mechanical equipment company which he grew and then sold like a decade later. He taught a bunch of different business law subjects and he got so excited about some of the driest technical stuff.

I really admired him but I couldn't figure out exactly why, other than that he was successful (but at a fairly highly ranked law school, you're completely surrounded by successful people all the time). One day, I realized that it was because he was, even at his age, still SUPER interested in his own life. That was what I was most impressed with. He had kids and whole bunch of grandkids that he obviously loved and he still had a few business concerns on the side in addition to teaching a handful of courses at the law school. A lot of people that age, even very successful ones, are just kind of running out the clock, for lack of a better phrase, just puttering around and playing golf and wishing they were still doing something worthwhile, watching the news obsessively. But this guy just did stuff he thought was interesting and he did it really well.

Anyway, I'm not sure it's as important to be constantly eclipsing your past achievements as it is to be really interested in what you're doing now. I'm sure when my professor plotted out his life, he wouldn't have imagined all the random stuff he'd do, but in retrospect it's a life filled with accomplishment and apparent purpose.

I hear you! I'm in my late 30s and, although I don't have a family, I'm in a similar sounding situation myself. My first act sounds pretty similar to your own and, for one reason or another, in the last few years I've undergone a similar sounding shift.

Although it's all for the good, I've found the shifting identity tough (I've always had a very clear self identity). When talking to others, any description of myself or something in my life that I've come out with has been accurate but several years out of date.

Very recently (last month or two) I've started to notice a little bit of change around this. I suppose enough things have happened to this version of myself that I'm starting to build some identity around that, as well as just being more comfortable with the new situation in general. I have also been reading and thinking about a lot of Buddhist philosophy, which I think has helped give me some perspective.

I hope you're able to find whatever viewpoint you need to move through this situation. I'm sure that you will - life has such a broad and deep variety of experiences and there are many different avenues for adventure and reward.

I'm in my mid 30's and if anything I'm in the opposite boat, most of my accomplishments are in the last 5 years, and the last year in particular.

My identity was very tenuous for most of my life, and has only come into focus quite recently. I spent most of my life trying not to be transgender, in particular, and transitioned over the last year. A lot of the things I do and am now would have been wild fantasy even a few years ago. It is going well, and it feels nearly complete.

I do worry what I will do with my life now. Transitioning has been an all consuming thing in all kinds of senses, but the end is in sight at this point. Being the correct gender frees up a tremendous amount of emotional and mental energy - but I don't know what to do with that energy. I've overcome something tremendous but it's left me about where most other people are.

I definitely want my life to be about more than gender. I could very easily stagnate where I am.

This strikes me as perfectly fitting the natural instincts.

Initially, you have to prove yourself. You then succeed enough to find a mate and start a family. This reduces your tolerance for risk, as it should: your kids need you.

Once you no longer have small children, you will likely hit a midlife crisis. At this point you may be tempted to have an affair or buy a Ferrari. This is an instinctive reaction to the lack of small children -- you aren't reproducing successfully with your current mate.

That's not bad! For most people (and especially for your kids), stability means happiness and success, as long as you can chill out and enjoy the moment.