You assume God's goal is human pleasure. What if it was human growth? A person never grows more than in the struggle of life. What if it was human freedom? Freedom means that evil must sometimes be permitted in the face of overwhelming power. What if it was something outside of human imagination?
You want a God that hands out straightjackets and drugs. I think he has a higher goal than that.
Epicurus doesn't assume anything here. If the 'higher goal' involved human suffering, then why would you condone that and worship the originator of suffering?
If your god would be a real person, you would not just accept 'oh, but I have a plan!'
If you really believe what you're saying, I hope you don't eat fish, or own jewelry, or use coal or oil derived power, or watch sports that have a non-zero rate of player injury, or eat at restaurants that use grease friers or knives, or any number of other commodities that are directly or indirectly the product of human suffering.
I can't really empathize with someone who sees no value in suffering. Suffering is not the ultimate evil, and pleasure is not the ultimate good. Go read some Cicero. He tears Epicurus a new one in much better language than I can muster.
You want a God that hands out straightjackets and drugs. I think he has a higher goal than that.