Settle down and have kids early, play the long game instead. Seriously. Have kids when you're ~25 (closer to the optimal age for having kids), then by the time you're ~45 they'll have moved out and you'll have the time and the financial freedom to take risks, do what you want, sail around the world etc.
We've done this. And let me tell you, working 40 hours a week when your 8-month baby lets you sleep on average 2 hours per night is a lot fucking harder than the 70-hour tech-scene work week. So given the choice, I'll take the former when I'm young and fit for it, and the latter when I'm older and wiser.
How do you pick a wife and get married and have kids by 25? That’s simply impossible for people that don’t marry their high school sweetheart and stay together through college
Of course, that's no guarantee - I belong to a religion where dating is a thing, and we believe marriage can be eternal, so there is a big emphasis on dating. And during my college years I was in an apartment of 6 and it seemed like every semester I'd have an engaged roommate - and I went on lots a dates, but didn't get married until I graduated.
So, yeah, go on lots of dates, and you might get married early. If not, don't sweat it. Just make sure you marry somebody who will work to have a good marriage.
note: I (and my culture) are definitely outliers - we tend to go through the courtship process relatively fast - I married my wife about 9 months after first meeting her.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS for short, but more widely known as 'Mormons')
In regards to dating, I was living in Provo, UT at the time, which over emphasized the dating aspect - I'm not sure how emphasized the dating aspect is outside of the U.S. / Angelo Saxon culture areas.
What I find rather interesting though is that despite placing more importance and weight on marriage, we tend to go through the courtship process faster (under a year is not uncommon).
Definitely not impossible. I got married at 21, and it's one of the best decisions I ever made. We just celebrated our 8th anniversary, and we've got two kids to enjoy it with. No, it wasn't to my high school sweetheart either. I was blessed to meet someone that fit me, and we made a commitment to each other. I know others who did the same and have thriving marriages.
I think it's really dependent on personal maturity. My wife-to-be and I both knew what we wanted families, so we looked at our financial situation, and decided we could responsibly get married while I was still in college. A couple generations ago, that was pretty normal. Not so much now, but that doesn't make it impossible.
I think "impossible" is maybe going a little far; I met my wife in college and was engaged at 23 and married a year later. There are other problems though -- most people don't have the kind of financial security you'd want to raise a kid at that age and they probably don't want the lifestyle that comes with it yet (despite getting married early I don't have kids five years later).
Date agressively and widely for 6 months-year. Double down on someoone who seems promising and date that person for a year or two. Marry that person with a short-ish engagement. Begin having kids. That can be done in 2-4 years.
Statistically, your divorce probability drops dramatically when you get married at 25, and doesn't change much afterward.
Once you're married at 25, the primary risk factors are: substance abuse (obvious), prior cohabitation (many people feel they "slide" into marriage when they do this), and unemployment.
If you make the wrong decision, you're looking at potentially losing half of your assets in a divorce. Plus, if you're unlucky enough to have a kid, there's another 18 years of child support. If you survive that without going broke, you'll also probably feel compelled to pay for college. There goes another half million.
Of course, maybe it's not quite that bad. Maybe you're just really miserable all the time. Things aren't quite terrible enough to leave your marriage, especially considering the consequences, so you suffer for a couple of decades. Instead of giving up half your money, you give up half your life and most of your freedom.
I have friends in this very situation. They tell me they wished they stayed single.
Yeah, I'd say finding the right partner is pretty germane.
I think the parent's posting is more applicable than you might think - putting in the effort to go on dates and really get to know a person does a lot to cultivate romance.
Nothing kills romance like hanging-out, but my perception might be different than yours - my ideal romance leads to a life-long relationship, which takes the same kind of effort that the parent's suggestion called for (deliberate effort focus on a romantic relationship).
We've done this. And let me tell you, working 40 hours a week when your 8-month baby lets you sleep on average 2 hours per night is a lot fucking harder than the 70-hour tech-scene work week. So given the choice, I'll take the former when I'm young and fit for it, and the latter when I'm older and wiser.