So then when you're done with your military career, you find yourself on the one hand having mastered yourself and done a lot of stuff you didn't think you were capable of. And on the other hand, some of that stuff is kind of bad, especially with that modern twist you're talking about - I would call it modern disconnection. I don't think there's anything in human nature that hasn't been extracted, distilled, modified and commodified by industrial society, and that leads to a lot of disconnection. Including with war and such. In the olden days, killing someone who was about to kill your family and torch your village etc. (things you felt connected to), was probably a lot easier to reconcile with your conscience, than nowadays killing someone for some faraway, disconnected political goal. Which eventually most of them realize as they get older - those military goals and missions, set by those at the top, are to some extent, arbitrary and capricious. I dunno, I would probably drink a lot too.