I know exactly what you mean. I've been slowly moving towards a "Mr. Money Mustache" style of frugal living, but I still wonder whether I'm doing the "right" thing. Maybe I'm missing out on all sorts of opportunities to enjoy life and grow as a person.
I do, however, look at friends who make significantly more than me and see that their lifestyle has grown proportionately with their income. Many of them could probably retire early if they embarked on 5-10 years of MMM-style extreme frugality, which to me seems like a missed opportunity.
> Many of them could probably retire early if they embarked on 5-10 years of MMM-style extreme frugality
Depends on where the wealth comes from, and if it's related to the spending of money (networking in expensive bars, for example).
There's another argument: what is retirement? Time spend on 100% leisure? But in this case we live frugally (100% work) in order to get that retirement. the reason we take so long to retire if we don't live frugally, is that we split time among work and leisure - i.e. we are partly doing what we'd do if we retired anyway.
I actually enjoy working. I don't see myself not working when I retire. It will probably be more casual work at my own pace, but I'd still like to be useful.
Many of the "retire early" people I've interacted with on /r/personalfinance are doing it because they hate their jobs and want to spend their life travelling or otherwise not working. To do that, they spend as little as possible (and save as much as possible).
Many people are okay with that. I'm not. I tried simulating that again for the first few years out of college to pay down some student loan debt. I stopped the minute I was able to refinance all of my existing debt into one with lower interest.
I think I dislike living frugally so much because I grew up poor and being poor sucked.
I understand what you mean. For me "retirement" would be about having enough FU money to provide a basic income, so that I could choose to work on things I find fulfilling.
Then again if you already find your work fulfilling and expect to continue to do so, I understand that there wouldn't be the same urgency to retire (with the caveat that everyone should save something for retirement as well as having an emergency fund).
I do, however, look at friends who make significantly more than me and see that their lifestyle has grown proportionately with their income. Many of them could probably retire early if they embarked on 5-10 years of MMM-style extreme frugality, which to me seems like a missed opportunity.