> it's kinda taboo to say you wish you didn't have kids! I think you get the same feeling, a loss of freedoms, from any significant evolution in life.
I think any society that has thrived has had some variation of this cultural trait. Its easy to see why: without lots of children the society would simply die out.
This is a very nuanced point though. As a young, somewhat single developer, I'm incredibly grateful to work a job that I enjoy that pays great. Love the freedom to go on vacation anywhere, to afford nice restaurants and such. I can't see why I would give up all that freedom to "settle down" as my parents keep reminding me of. Although I've had many great relationships, at some point, its always: "I just want to not have to plan out every weekend together!".
Perhaps I'm an outlier that just puts way too much emphasis on independence.
> > it's kinda taboo to say you wish you didn't have kids!
> I think any society that has thrived has had some variation of this cultural trait.
I think in a lot of societies, having kids doesn't quite restrict your options as much as modern American society - prior to this century, you'd likely still live surrounded by family and a community who could help you with a lot of the childcare.
You could drop the kids off at granddad's on the way to work, and not spend a significant portion of your income on daycare; in-laws could come and stay with you for awhile to help you get some sleep during those first few months; if you needed to do something during a weekend that you couldn't bring a kid to, you could drop the kid off at the neighbors'.
I agree completely. And I imagine, before the internet, having an extended family would have a lot of "tribal knowledge" about all the little idiosyncrasies of raising children as well.
That can be both good and bad, though; I was talking to my stepbrother - who is 30 years my senior - and when he was raising his kids, who are my age, putting them on their stomach to sleep was the medically advised strategy. Today, that's considered a risk for SIDS.
I'd say that 90% of the benefit of the extended family would be people who would come and be a warm body to sit with the kid, or bring you food, at least for the first year.
Don't let anyone with kids fool you. It's perfectly fine to never have kids, and becoming much more common.
My wife and I decided before we got married we were probably not going to have kids. Now that we have been married for years and enjoy our life of independence, it has to turned solidly to never.
I think any society that has thrived has had some variation of this cultural trait. Its easy to see why: without lots of children the society would simply die out.
This is a very nuanced point though. As a young, somewhat single developer, I'm incredibly grateful to work a job that I enjoy that pays great. Love the freedom to go on vacation anywhere, to afford nice restaurants and such. I can't see why I would give up all that freedom to "settle down" as my parents keep reminding me of. Although I've had many great relationships, at some point, its always: "I just want to not have to plan out every weekend together!".
Perhaps I'm an outlier that just puts way too much emphasis on independence.