Regarding misgendering you, that was truly not my intention. I spoke too hastily and while I took a cursory look at the links in your profile, and have seen your handle around HN, and for the record I generally find myself in agreement with you on many issues but this shouldn't matter one way or the other, I had no knowledge of this part of your life.

Just to be absolutely clear here, it was not my intention to misgender you or to otherwise use that as ammunition in our disagreement here. I find such tactics to be incredibly dehumanizing and despite our disagreement here you certainly don't deserve such an attack. Regardless of my ignorance of your situation, and ignorance is no excuse here, I apologize for my prior comment.

I appreciate that, thank you.

I am sorry that I jumped to conclusions. By coincidence it so happens you used a pair of keyprhases that are part of a very large social debate. Please be aware that saying, "Virtue Signaling" to someone who does a lot of conversations about these issues, you will probably see them steel for hostility.

But I maintain my position: I dislike this site. I dislike making fun of obvious novices. And I freely admit in my past I am guilty of this very behavior, as so many of us have been. My opposition is in part because I want to see fewer people do the same bad things I did when I was young. It makes the environment hostile. It makes the cost of failure socially high, and it makes it seem like failure and incremental refinement is not actually the standard for tech and startups, and I think neither is true.

I am also sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I hope we can speak again on better terms.

I appreciate your response as well. I don't participate much in social media aside from HN, and while the term "virtue signaling" has a very specific meaning and use case for me, I'm probably ignorant on how its used in the broader culture wars. I can imagine that it can be wielded as a dismissal of any concerns people may have. Again, looking back at my "joke", I can understand why you took offense seeing as this is an issue you care deeply about that probably gets dismissed as virtue signaling.

I still maintain the site in question is quite funny, at least to me, and I do this as someone who's life can probably most accurately be described as a series of really bad circumstances and poor decisions that have led to some pretty spectacular and sometimes shameful failures. I don't generally like the concept of finding joy in putting down others but at the same time I can find some relief in a bit of self deprecation, which to me is what the site represents. And again, this comes from someone who would probably be considered an abject failure by the vast majority of the readership here. You seem to have a different view of the site, and while I disagree with it, I can certainly understand and respect why you feel that way.

My apologies as well for the earlier tone. I'm sure the next time we speak will indeed be on better terms.

You're not on trial for referring to someone as a dude. It's an old as dirt tactic to put you on the defensive.

Really? I tweeted about a week ago about the change publicly, and I've been getting a lot of anonymous shit for it. I've been out about being fluid for awhile now, but I was waiting on the pronoun shift in a larger public sense for when I wasn't managing a large organization. I knew they'd stress more about getting it wrong than I would about them getting it right.

I forgot to update my G+ profile (that's where YT gets its data, and I really don't pay much attention to that). So Mr. No_just_no has a fair point, but I'm not relishing opening up the door to further bullshit there.

That said, the "they" is a compromise pronoun for me because I know that something more descriptive will just meet with _even more pushback_.

Nobody here cares except the people who you demand care. So you changed your sex. Okay. It's not the actual topic and no one here really gives a shit.

You've posted about it more than I have, now.