Yes, in German we have a saying like "One kid is no kid". The increase from zero to one kid might feel like you mastered a big step (and it is!).. But a second kid is a total game changer. I am hard pressed to find some time for Netflix and a bit of guitar playing every once in a while. Do I want to exchange that for coding for some bigger cause? Nope.
Agree. When we had one kid, I started a business. Looking back, it was totally doable. When we had two kids, I was a solo freelancer, worked a ton, and don't remember any issues. The third one, though, we called him The Crusher. Even though he was as easy as the first two, all three constantly demanded attention, and we were outnumbered. There was no "relaxing with the baby". As they got older, the sheer logistics with school and multiple activities got ridiculous (let's say 3 children x 1 activity each x 2 days/wk (1 practice + 1 game) = 6 afternoons/evenings gone). Expenses suddenly got out of hand (preschool++).
Of course, wife & I always wanted three. I was not going to not have three kids, just so I could spend more time coding. I would never tell anyone who has < 3 kids that they have it easy, but this was a very interesting sub-topic of the OP.
Because it has the potential of reserving nearly all of your leisure time over months-years. Caring for a baby while a crazy 3 year old wants to play/eat/fight can be overwhelming compared to just one kid. There's also the organizational side - every step outside the door becomes an endeavour. Then there is housing - good luck with that 100 sq feet apartment (it could work with one kid, but impossible with two). Same with small cars - forget them with a 2nd kid.
There was a post here a few months(?) ago from a guy describing his life with his over ten kids. I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend x*2^10 hours per day on them ;)
While I respect that others may have a different opinion, I should add that in my experience the change from 0 to 1 was more profound than that from 1 to 2. Without kids life most likely entirely revolves around your needs, interests and priorities (if you are not a caregiver). The first kid turns that world upside down. The second kid to us mostly meant more of kid stuff. Yes, I agree that it is not a good way to think about having two kids as something that equals to twice having one kid. But a lot that comes with the second will be somewhat familiar, and practice will make you better at it, even though your second kid will probably be very different to your first.
My friend wrote in an email that "When we had our first, I thought a lot about what the hell we had done with all the free time we used to have on our hands. Since we had our second, I haven't had time to think." I should add that after having their third, he has barely found time to write emails to me a few times a year.
TLDR; step size between 0, 1, 2, etc. kids is subjective.
