i'm 32m. in my mid-late 20s i spent 4-5 years online dating - i really put in the effort and time, and i got laid a lot. however, in the end, i found that i'm not really the relationship type. and getting laid a lot, once you get over the initial novelty and thrill of it, is kind of boring. it just becomes a giant blur of faces and nights out.
it's just too much work, for not enough payoff, and i'm also too picky about my mates. i found that the women i attracted really didn't add much into my life, nor did the actual companionship. i found it to be much like a 2nd job to maintain a relationship and the expectations that go along with it. i already have a job, i don't need a second one. maybe that's my problem, but it is what it is.
i plan on retiring somewhere cheap and warm in my 40s or early 50s and not really bothering with mortgage or family or anything.
personally i think a lot of guys are like this, they just don't talk about it because the social expectation of career/family/mortgage is too strong.
Similar feelings here, although I've been married for a number of years. It took me a long time to figure out that "that's just what you do" (dating and marriage) maybe didn't always mean it was the best thing for each individual.
Although relationships are very difficult, I think it's probably beneficial for me to have a wife since she keeps me from entirely isolating myself from all human contact and also creates "excuses" for me to experience things I otherwise wouldn't (like, let's go to this play or that ballgame, where just me I'd never just go myself). Plus we can be there for each as we get older.
I applaud you though for being able to see through social pressure and figure out what you want in life. I think you're right about people not talking about it.
Have you looked into the MGTOW community? You sound just like them. They are smart guys, but they get a lot of shit because they push back against those exact social expectations that you talk about.
it's just too much work, for not enough payoff, and i'm also too picky about my mates. i found that the women i attracted really didn't add much into my life, nor did the actual companionship. i found it to be much like a 2nd job to maintain a relationship and the expectations that go along with it. i already have a job, i don't need a second one. maybe that's my problem, but it is what it is.
i plan on retiring somewhere cheap and warm in my 40s or early 50s and not really bothering with mortgage or family or anything.
personally i think a lot of guys are like this, they just don't talk about it because the social expectation of career/family/mortgage is too strong.