Funny you say this.. A friend of mine basically is playing the long game with a few of his huge crushes (who are married). He stays in touch with him, remembers to send thoughtful emails on their b'day, Christmas hoping they'll divorce one day. And when they do, the first person they'll jump ship to will be him. That's his thinking... Although, he's married too currently, so there's that.
Well, clearly the kind of low self-esteem psychopath who keeps track of past crushes in the hopes of weaseling his way into an affair/relationship with women who have already proven they are less likely to make suitable partners than baseline, doesn't have much regard for what society has deemed "messed up".
I only kinda know the games/rules in America. In America this is wrong. On the other hand, what do I know. It just seems weird.
I'll tell the world one thing, I found out about my character that I'm not proud of. I found "the one" a few years ago. She was sweet, caring, had brilliant foresight, knew people, wasen't materialistic, smart, put others before herself, etc. I would have died for this woman. She was the one I measured the others by.
I ran into her at an office a few weeks ago. I didn't recognize her. I talked to her for close to an hour. She didn't have those qualities seemingly left.
I drove home, and asked--still asking myself; "Did I project these qualities on her because of her looks--years ago?
I met her just after a severe life crisis. She was a coworker. Could I have projected these qualities on her because she was so stunning? I'm still questioning myself. I really didn't think I was that shallow. I actually, didn't think, I was shallow in the slightest, but maybe I am?
It the simple "halo effect", where good looking/attractive people are attributed other positive qualities that they don't really posses. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect
Plus, given some limited information about a person, we tend to fill it with "wishful thinking" and assign all kind of positive attributes that don't really exists.
On street parlance this is called "putting the pussy on a pedestal". This is a very common thing that most men (and/or women) do when they are young.
