As a trained, but non-practicing, physicist, I would like you to elaborate about your first paragraph. I am used to using units where c=1, I think that is what you are referencing: a "meter" of time is the time it takes light to go a meter (which is to say, a very small amount of time) and so a second is 3x10^8 m. I don't see how this changes the pattern we would make in spacetime. If we assume no one ever moves (a nice physics-y approximation), but the particles that make them up do, so I don't see why we wouldn't look like the middle pattern while alive. Then after death, the disintegration is exaggerated, but again, it seems more-or-less right to me. What am I missing?
Because the timescales that you're "moving" on are very long from a relativistic perspective. If we localize you in spacetime you're maybe a meter long in one direction, two meters in another, half a meter in a third, and... 30,000 km in the fourth. If we look at you on the nanosecond timescale that you need to see time as "meters" we find that except for, say, electrons' worldlines about the nuclei, your worldlines are very much all parallel to each other.
