From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your support everyone.
I’m far from out of the woods yet, without all the support and suggestions shown here I don’t want to imagine how much worse off I’d be today.
First thing this morning I spoke to someone at my work about my isssues. It was difficult to work up the courage to speak, but I kept all of the support you had all given me to heart and knew what I had to do. I was open and told them exactly what was going on. I mentioned the fact I was seeking treatment and was up front about the exact issues I’ve had.
I had resigned to the fact I had lost the job, but was offered an extension on my performance improvement plan.
Despite the trouble I caused for myself by not coming forth to them about this earlier, I do want to be there, and their willingness to accommodate me solidified my resolve to solve my issues without leaving. I left my last job over these same issues and if anything, things got worse. This time I’m determined to fight
I’ll continue seeking treatment with a therapist and a psychiatrist. And while I was honest to both to myself and my employer about the fact that I can’t expect an overnight improvement, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yesterday I truly felt like I was suffocating. I can at least breath again, and I owe that all to each and every one of you.
I came late, but my advice was going to be to talk to those who were involved in the performance plan and let them know what was going on. A good employer doesn't want to lose a good employee if they can help it. Looks like you have a good employer based on this update.
Thank you for the update, and serious kudos for doing what you did. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to talk to someone at work, but you did it. Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts as you get through this.
First I want to apologize for only replying to a comment like this.
I've read all of them and I've decided to just be open with my employer about what I told you all. If they've decided to fire me I don't think it could make things worse, but if they're on the fence, currently I can barely even function. The additional stress of wondering is causing me to shut down in a way I haven't experienced before, and I figure handling that will be better than nothing.
But to your comment, I feel like I gave all the details there are. I don't gain anything by lying or hiding anything. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I felt paralyzed when I wrote this post and my goal really was to "dump" the situation and see what other people could pull from it. I could barely move my feet in front of each other leaving the office today let alone think straight about this situation.
And I don't think I implied I was happy with where my savings were, but they've pretty much held me up the best they could. I've only been working professionally for 2 years of my life and only really made enough to save "properly" for a little under 1 year.
Between the cost of moving (including rental trucks security deposits, etc) and those mishaps, someone whose career has only really paid a real salary for 2 years would be hit hard regardless of lifestyle.
And "few mishaps" is 2 not-at-fault car accidents, the second of which left me carless for 5 months (insurance only covers rentals for 30 days).
Add copays for 3 months of PT, a few trips to urgent care when I came down with a respiratory infection and really, "a few mishaps" wiped out what was left of my savings.
I only replied to this because reading the rest of these comments has given me some hope and at least a path forward until tomorrow morning, but I hate the idea of someone in a similar position to me reading a comment like yours. There's no need to get sanctimonious to someone who's already down.
I’m sorry you had to see such an awful comment. I’ve been in your situation, and it will get better. Even if it doesn’t feel like it will.
Some solid actionable items have been suggested by others in terms of finance, but as far as health goes, get to a psychiatrist immediately. Even without insurance, paying cash will likely be around $300. Generic prescriptions can be picked at numerous places for very cheap. I believe wal-mart still sells most generics for $4 for a month supply.
An anti-depressant won’t cure you but it will speed up the process of recovery dramatically by buying you the time to dig yourself out of the hole.
At that point hopefully you’ll have enough energy to begin to improve your overall health, e.g. exercise and diet. These are usually the first things you should do, unless you’re in the psycho-motor-retardation phase it sounds like you’re describing. In which case meds first.
The only mistake I see is legitimizing the GP comment with a response. You don't have to justify or explain yourself, or pay any attention to this person's comments. Just be glad the behavioral problems aren't yours and have some compassion for the people who have them.
> There's no need to get sanctimonious to someone who's already down.
Absolutely. It's sickening to see, and the tone is obnoxious. Let's just move on.
All the best to you. Please post back what happens - I hope HN can help. I've found in my life being open with others have generally been a good decision in hindsight - I hope it's true for you too.
> But to your comment, I feel like I gave all the details there are.
Obviously not, or I wouldn't have asked. And then you go on to mention the details that I asked about...
> There's no need to get sanctimonious to someone who's already down.
I was asking for real details, since with the level of issues you seem to have, it seems like you need to do more than just put bandaids on things. Asking for real details when you come here with a serious problem isn't 'being sanctimonious'.
> First I want to apologize for only replying to a comment like this.
I don't follow. Are you implying that he has these issues because he spends all of his money on drugs? The guy came here to ask for help and you're attacking him for.. not sharing enough details?? What details could you possibly want that he hasn't provided yet? Would you be willing to help if he discloses his bank statements for the past 6 months? Is this exchange really all you can offer to people in need?
Asking him for more details isn't attacking him. How is that hard to follow? No, I'm not implying whatever baloney you feel like inventing here.
> What details could you possibly want that he hasn't provided yet?
The ones he provided after I asked him for more details. Are you even reading the thread? Did you not notice that he provided them after I asked for them?
> Is this exchange really all you can offer to people in need?
No, other people have different problems. But at least I'm trying to help which is more than can be said about you.
There’s a theme here. Everyone sees your comment as an attack, or at best in very poor taste, but you. Your replies have only cemented that view. Sounds like OP isn’t the only one that needs help.
> definitely came across as sanctimonious to my ears. Mea culpa.
If you'd provided the details to begin with I would have been able to say something more targeted to your specific situation than just 'better lifestyle'. But that's one thing it sounded like you might need based on what you'd said at that point.
I’m far from out of the woods yet, without all the support and suggestions shown here I don’t want to imagine how much worse off I’d be today.
First thing this morning I spoke to someone at my work about my isssues. It was difficult to work up the courage to speak, but I kept all of the support you had all given me to heart and knew what I had to do. I was open and told them exactly what was going on. I mentioned the fact I was seeking treatment and was up front about the exact issues I’ve had.
I had resigned to the fact I had lost the job, but was offered an extension on my performance improvement plan.
Despite the trouble I caused for myself by not coming forth to them about this earlier, I do want to be there, and their willingness to accommodate me solidified my resolve to solve my issues without leaving. I left my last job over these same issues and if anything, things got worse. This time I’m determined to fight
I’ll continue seeking treatment with a therapist and a psychiatrist. And while I was honest to both to myself and my employer about the fact that I can’t expect an overnight improvement, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yesterday I truly felt like I was suffocating. I can at least breath again, and I owe that all to each and every one of you.