I am also been interested for the longest time - even with a degree in Mechanical Engineering - to understand mathematic like Calculus or the equations you see in neural networks papers.
My longest problem has been I have no idea what is going in the formula or fundamental questions like, "why is there a square root there". It is hard to describe my issue, but I've been very horrible with math anyways. Can't do gas station math anyways.
Try, Try again until you "get" it. Seriously, Maths should be read by everybody in the spirit of playing a game i.e. with no pressure and in a relaxed frame of mind. There are Concepts, Objects and various Rules interconnecting them. And somehow these "games" turn out to be useful in explaining the real world.
Get some school/college textbooks (high school level onwards) and some "popular maths" books and start reading. Once something catches your fancy you can dive deep as needed. You are studying to gain "understanding" and not to get through an exam or prove something to somebody.
This was one of the project idea I made myself work on during this April. The motivation being, "how hard is it to make a real-time code editor". Long story short, it is far more complicated than I had imagine and to complete in less than a week. Implementing the CRDT itself, the logic itself is challenging and than putting it down to code is another story.
From my understanding, an implementation of logoot[1] is built to create the skeleton of a collaborative environment. From there on, you have the building block to make other things work with it, such as collaborative canvas.
I built one using Socket.io on Angular and used Ace Editor own implementation of CRDT
My longest problem has been I have no idea what is going in the formula or fundamental questions like, "why is there a square root there". It is hard to describe my issue, but I've been very horrible with math anyways. Can't do gas station math anyways.