Friendships come and go over the years is something I have learned in my life. We dont always have the same value systems and because of that, its natural to drift apart and not talk as frequently as we used to

This is something I am learning as a late bloomer in life, as I didnt have too many friends more so business acquaintances growing up

The hardest lessons I hace learned though is during major life transitions - sometimes you are off on your own, you have to manage that transition yourself and cannot rely on anyone in particular through it

Friendships require work but sometimes they arent on equal terms either, and when things shift away that created that strong bond to begin with, people drift apart. Thats something that is hard to cope with, that sense of loss in wanting that nostaglic connection again

If that can help you, I learned that most "gone" friendships are not really dead and can be reactivated.

I’ve talked back to a few friends I lost for years and it was hard because I’m actually pretty sensitive to rejection. To what should not be my surprise, not a single one rejected me and all of them where happy to be in contact again.

And you can even re grow friendships. Actually one of my best friends today is someone I lost contact with for about a decade. This relation was so lost to me that I didn’t even bother to invite him to my marriage. And now we see each other every week since the last 5 years.

That’s one case where I did the effort to build back the relation. But that was worth it and was way easier than a new friendship.

It looks like if anything is universal it’s both that most people somehow miss their old friends and that most people are feeling more or less lonely.

Conversations should be progressive over time, as this builds trust and support over a given period of time

Had a standing desk before, and a treadmill desk. Didnt really feel like it was a massive improvement, if anything I couldnt do work for a prolonged period of time like sitting and i used to go for walks to take breaks. With standing desks you dont really build this habit per say since your always standing

Im in this phase right now, I used gatsbyJS and netlify in my last projects and things became unmaintainable and difficult to upgrade after a few years, am in the process of just doing a complete rewrite where I have more granular control over everything regardless of framework / business corporatization

One thing you learn about the restaurant industry during expansion is maintaining talent and culture is not easy. Alot of these restaurant cultures succeed if there is either a top level culture passed down by two or more founders, or its instilled from a family culture

I tried doing IKEA restaurants as co-working but it just doesn't have the right energy or vibe though

I've only been programming for 6 years. I don't feel the same burning passion as I did when I first started coding. I'm a frontend developer, but I've made a lot of lateral switches into DevOps, backend, leadership, etc but I prefer just building what I'm good at though

But I'm basically semi-retired to a degree in my field. I'm doing the bare minimal to get by at this point. I ultimately would love to quit some day, and pivot into a different career, not entirely related to coding. I'm not at that point yet financially though, and am spending energy elsewhere

I would love to start a non-coding related business one day though.

I just slack myself notes of things I am trying to process that are more in depth. It helps me rebuild context, and those notes are usuallu short lived (usually a day or a week depending on difficulty of task)

Its really the fault of the process decided by upper management, a junior dev shouldnt have that much access. Least access privilege wasnt done correctly here

I am from Florida, where there is a lot of southern hosptiality and east coast “kind”. We tend to be a bit more aggressive in our language and openly expressive but it tends to come from one of empathy and support. We tend to understand and communicate well, small talk is easy and normalized. People also will greet you even if you are a stranger, its really nice

Going to the west coast - it is weird. People arent genuinely empathetic or rather, its a foreign concept to them. Empathy is always done through some indirect means, through hobbies for instance. I do feel people on the west coast and midwest arent really used to community collaboration either near as much as the east coast either. Also they are not used to openly expressing themselves, I suspect this has to do with fear of being negatively judged

I also just went to LA. It is such a foreign concept to me how black and white everything is. A lot of people will believe there are truly evil or good people - its such a weird thing for me to hear coming from the east coast - we just think of people as like people.

I think at least on the west coast, alot of this artificial niceness has to do with rising CoL, asian influence, and homeless problems

Mid west is more so like less exposure to international culture compared to east coast

Conformity is like rewarded a lot more in the midwest and west coast, people imo struggle to be individualistic and most resort to some sort of pseudonym to express themselves

I do feel people on the east coast are just in general, simpler people used to simpler things and overall just happier people

I have some friends that moved from seattle, they do tend to express themselves better in text then verbally

I think you nailed it. However, as someone that grew up in the midwest, then spent 5 years living on the west coast, I would say that lumping the midwest in with the west coast for this statement is wildly inaccurate:

> I do feel people on the west coast and midwest arent really used to community collaboration either near as much as the east coast either. Also they are not used to openly expressing themselves...

If you spend some time in Chicago, I think you would find that it isn't much different from the east coast, based on your description. I can assure you that we have no issues openly expressing ourselves :)

I have been to Chicago as well! I will say though Chicago is a bit of an outlier though - it is technically the midwest but its also not entirely culturally the midwest either

People are definitely community oriented there - theres alot of polish community events, open friendliness towards sports outings and open pickups (basketball volleyball etc)

I will say though I think in Chicago it tends to be a bit more like clique-y though - culturally and sportswise comparitvely to something like NYC.

Like in NYC theres alot more international / individualism though, in Chicago the city itself enforces a good number of rules on what you should and shouldnt be (example is the pride colors painted in boys town)

That's totally fair. There are large parts of the Midwest that I haven't spent enough time in to making sweeping generalizations. I've only driven through the states west of Illinois. I also haven't spent much time on the east coast, but most of the people I have worked with over the past 4 years live there. I felt comfortable around my east coast colleagues immediately versus feeling that "weird" you described in your original comment when I lived on the west coast.