This is interesting because I think this is my problem as well. I've tried TODO lists, writing things on paper, but I eventually forget about them. Do you use todo lists? Do you write everything down in paper?

Do you carry your notebook with yourself everywhere?

Actually for my personal todos I just use a page of paper. I don't carry it around but sometimes I copy some tasks on a paper snippet and put it into my pocket. The very nice thing about the paper list is that it has a limit. So I don't end up having more todos than I can handle.

However for work I like Asana. Paper would be too impractical...

Thanks for the book suggestion. Downloaded. Make sure to link me the blog post!

My commute is public transportations (Bus + Train + Subway). I usually try to listen podcasts, but other times I'll just be on reddit, which sucks, I know

Sometimes I pride myself in it, but I really have a hard time not beating myself up over it, and the inner struggle is constantly there.

I really, really, have a hard time not beating myself up. I always want to be or feel better, but when I start thinking about the things I should be doing in order to improve, the friction is so high that I fall back to my default mode, which is to play a video game for an hour or two. In this case, it's CS GO.

I always have trouble finding the real motivation and reasons behind things. I just don't what is the real questions I should be asking myself. For me, finding the why in things is sometimes really difficult. For instance, about exercising: I know that I should exercise so I'm healthier and live longer, but that reason alone sometimes isn't enough for me to get up in the morning and go for the jog. I guess I have a hard time acknowledging the fact that I need to relax sometimes, it's just that I don't really know any other form of relaxation but video games, and that makes me sad.

That's OK. Sometimes it takes time to find the real motivation behind something. Sometimes it doesn't make sense either, and that's OK, because it doesn't have to make sense, despite your mind thinking that it should. It takes an honesty with yourself to acknowledge those motivations as well. The key is to not beat yourself up about it too much. The more you do that, the more resistance you will feel about it.

"What you resist, persists"

Yeah I need to start doing this. Ima start buying quality games. Already uninstalled CSGO. Screw that game. Thanks for that point of view.

CSGO and the previous games were also my crack and those of my friends. But it's clear now that it's morphed into something that I would rather not be a part of. The betting website shenangians from the past month were a symptom of deeper problem with that game and its community.

You'll definitely find something that would make better use of that time you had filled with CSGO, whether it's a game or not.

Not sure that its so much a symptom of a deeper problem as much as the fact that E-sports in general are a new industry and growing considerably. The amount of people involved in the counter-strike scene is at least 3-4 magnitudes larger than it was 7-8 years ago.

CSGO has a lot of players but compared to other popular games with their own economies - with exception to perhaps EVE Online - they don't have as many problems with shady item selling/trading markets as CSGO has. Look at DOTA2 for example.

DOTA2 items crashed in value. Before Valve made major changes, the trading market was huge. Same thing happened in TF2. It was just early on in virtual item trading websites. It took awhile, even in CSGO, for jackpot and lottery sites to come about.

What did you replace games with?

Yep. CS:GO here. I sometimes wonder why I still play that game. It's really digital crack. I really want to get into personal projects but sometimes I just would like to get out of the house and explore stuff. Thing is I can't do that, not where I live. At least until I move out.