My wife and I are DINKs. We drive a smallish CUV. Her cousin drove it, fell in love, and bought the same car.
It’s really a perfect allrounder - looks nice, is luxurious, more than enough space for us, even drives like a sports car (or at least as close to a CUV can hope to).
Then said cousin had a baby. People around him scolded him for not selling the car for something much bigger - like a Kia Telluride or a Honda Pilot. But he is doing just fine.
Scolds are always around no matter what you do. It’s just a bit amazing what total strangers will feel is appropriate to comment, but you have to take it from a place of fear of the unknown. I’d say “or you’ll go insane” but if you have 3+ kids you’re probably already there. ;)
The key is to have people in your life who understand the struggle and don’t just rattle off “easy ways” to solve all your problems.
We had two kids (newborn and 3) in car seats and a Ford Focus. The other car was a Jetta.
The Focus even had a small aftermarket amp and sub in the trunk. Everybody and their things still fit, although the sub did come out for long trips for that extra cargo.
The Golf Wagon that came later still fit us and the dog. About 90lbs of her would fit in the back and she could drool all over the kids.
I know someone who had one child and then spent the pandemic finding a car and buying an overpriced, and significantly oversized Escalade. He of course detailed his struggles, especially financial the entire time to us wonder what the fuck was going on. Apparently the whole pressure was from his and his wife's entire extended family.
Jfc my parents raised me and my brother out of a fucking Buick sedan. Modern Americans are spoiled as fuck.
I live closer to my wife’s side of the family than mine, so I’m more familiar with them.
Out of the dozen plus adults I regularly interact with there, we both only respect one of the “elders” (as in our parents’ generation) as someone I can look up to as an “adult”.
Out of our peers (cousins, siblings, etc.) likewise we only really consider one person as an “adult”.
That’s not to say they’re bad people. They’re all mostly cool people we enjoy hanging out with. But they’re not people we’d have serious life conversations with.
Ironically, as one of two childless couples in the family, I’m sure some of them look at us as “not adults” for no other reason than because we’re not parents. I know there’s a contingent here in HN as well that have expressed the same viewpoint. Also, the aforementioned peer (a cousin) we respect as an adult - is the other childless couple in the family. We, and she (and husband) are independent while the parent couples are still quite visibly dependent socially, emotionally, and even sometimes financially, on the older generation. If anything, our parents have started to depend on us as they grow older, which is a responsibility we happily accept.
Doubly ironic is that more often than not many members of the family come to us (my wife more so) when they need “serious adult advice”. Even the elders.
Everyone is different. Living with five strangers or even anyone who is more distant than a super-close near-lifelong friend (my assumption - apologies beforehand if I’m wrong) sounds like a nightmare to me.
I have a Tag Heuer I bought back in 2005 that I wore almost daily until I got my first Apple Watch (second gen). Since then it’s been collecting dust except the ultra rare occasion I have to dress up.
I recently bought a cheap G Shock on a whim thinking I might wear it. It’s also collecting dust. I probably have even less reason to wear it than the Tag.
My wife wants to buy me a Rolex as a belated wedding gift but I keep on insisting no because I feel it’s also going to join the Tag in the dustbin.
In the US, including NYC, it’s more likely the offender will subject his fellow passengers to violence (or threats of) if confronted.
Most people will choose to ignore the offender rather than poke a potentially crazy bear.
Of course it’s stuff like this that make people here hate public transportation. But often times transit advocates choose to ignore problems like this saying there’s nothing wrong.
As some other posters have said, it’s the “accessories” that often give you a clue. Clothes, makeup, hairstyle, etc.
Also, Asians in their native countries are more distinctive vs. say, fully “Americanized” Asian Americans who I feel are a separate category that is more homogenous with each other than their country or ethnicity.
Another point I’ve observed more recently is that Korea and some parts of the Sinosphere are converging in aesthetics. Japan still seems to be doing its own thing. Though culturally I’d say Japan and Korea nonetheless share the most similarities.
Tangent, but a cartoon I immensely enjoyed as a young kid popped up recently on my YouTube feed - Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors. That day I learned JMS wrote the story and it too featured an overarching story that backed the otherwise “episode of the week” format.
Some of my friends and family who had kids at a young(er) age - and by that, I mean late twenties or early thirties - seemed totally oblivious to the hardships of parenthood.
You’d think by your thirties you’d do some basic research. Most people just have kids because it’s just “what your supposed to do” and don’t give much thought beyond that.
I don’t know what they thought to themselves, but outwardly they projected rainbows and unicorns until reality eventually hit them.
> You’d think by your thirties you’d do some basic research.
I've often had thoughts like this, but had to just accept that people often don't do basic research. For another example, consider how many people work full-time (160+ hours per month) to make money, but have never bothered to take even a 2-hour course on how to manage it well. They spend all that time making money but no time on how to use it wisely. And then they make obvious mistakes. Unnecessary debt, lack of investments, complain that they never learned this stuff in school, etc. Not trying to sound judgmental, but I always found that surprising.
There are a few topics that illicit this kind of response. I've lived in apartments/condos ever since I moved out of my parents' home, and living through Covid in an apartment was the nail in the coffin. My wife and I decided we would not live in a shared building again - at minimum, we'd only look for places that have a private entrance.
Based on the behavior of real estate in our area (high density suburbs of NYC), I don't think we're the only ones? Condo prices have either fallen or remained static while SFH have skyrocketed.
It’s really a perfect allrounder - looks nice, is luxurious, more than enough space for us, even drives like a sports car (or at least as close to a CUV can hope to).
Then said cousin had a baby. People around him scolded him for not selling the car for something much bigger - like a Kia Telluride or a Honda Pilot. But he is doing just fine.
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