Same. I had to physically separate myself from my personal computer because I frequently found myself working on side projects, playing video games, or literally anything else that grabbed my attention.
Yep. As someone who has been taking these medications for over a decade, I can say the danger of physical and mental addiction is very real. I've also stopped medication several times over this period and the withdrawal can last weeks or months.
Have also done breaks and it’s hard, but it’s confounded with the accompanying massive drop in life functioning. I’d argue it’s 50/50 but anecdotally. The research on street addiction of amphetamine (think homeless not Ivy League SAT prep) and recovery is fairly robust. Doable but hard.
Throwaway since I'll be discussing some fairly personal topics.
I was diagnosed over a decade ago at the age of 19 and have been in treatment ever since. The changes as a result of getting medication and attending therapy have be profound and decidedly mixed. One thing I'm just going to say upfront is that if anyone reading this thread decides to seek treatment, please don't solely rely on medication. The medication allows your ADHD to become manageable, but crucially it does not manage it for you.
Good changes:
1) Social life immediately and greatly improved. I was able to hold my attention when talking to people. My tangents became less wandering and frequent. I had the focus to make plans and actually follow through with them. I texted people back (this alone was huge).
2) I lose things less often. Before starting treatment I was notorious among my family and peer group for losing things. I still lose things all the time, but now it's usually because I put something down in my house rather than losing things in public.
3) Improved physical health. The appetite suppressant aspect of stimulants play a role here, but I think the bigger thing here is less impulsive food choices. Because I just don't feel as hungry, I have to plan my meals better and so I eat healthier. It's also easier to stick to an exercise schedule.
4) I can sit still and be quiet. Looking back at my childhood, it should have been fairly obvious what was going on, but I believe the mindset was medication was only for kids with poor academic achievement. The scale of lost time has been personally frustrating, but I am grateful for not being put on medication when I was young child.
Bad Changes:
1) Massively increased libido. The stimulants can increase sex drive, but can also make orgasm more difficult while also sometimes making it more difficult to maintain an erection. While these last two can be frustrating on a personal level, the hyper sexuality can be quite destructive when not kept in check.
2) The hyper focus aspects of ADHD are now basically on all the time. Medication is less a guided missile and more a laser. Instead of taking it and 'magically' getting things done, your attention is now dialed into whatever you point it at. This can be extremely productive, or not. I have less 'lost days' than I did before seeking treatment but those days now have a greater intensity.
3) It can be easy to get into stimulant fueled cycles of self-destruction. I need to be very disciplined about getting enough food and sleep. The drugs make it easy to shrug off a night or two of little sleep. But using drugs to ignore my body leads to much worse ADHD symptoms then if I hadn't been taking the drugs at all.
4) There is a distinct difference in my personality on days when I take my drugs and days I do not; see Good Changes, point (1). This can be hard for other people, especially romantic partners, to deal with.
Overall I'm happy that I've pursued medication in combination with therapy. It has let me get a handle on my life, but anyone who says it's all good is not telling the truth.
*1) Massively increased libido. The stimulants can increase sex drive, but can also make orgasm more difficult while also sometimes making it more difficult to maintain an erection. While these last two can be frustrating on a personal level, the hyper sexuality can be quite destructive when not kept in check.*
I had this on Adderall, I was switched to Desoxyn and had no issue with it. On Adderall even medicine like Viagra would not improve the side effects. That was a show stopper for me, and really frustrating that it actually increased drive.
*2) The hyper focus aspects of ADHD are now basically on all the time. Medication is less a guided missile and more a laser. Instead of taking it and 'magically' getting things done, your attention is now dialed into whatever you point it at. This can be extremely productive, or not. I have less 'lost days' than I did before seeking treatment but those days now have a greater intensity.*
I would agree with this description for me as well, though I can choose where the focus goes and I can choose when to disengage. To me it had been a net plus.
*3) It can be easy to get into stimulant fueled cycles of self-destruction. I need to be very disciplined about getting enough food and sleep. The drugs make it easy to shrug off a night or two of little sleep. But using drugs to ignore my body leads to much worse ADHD symptoms then if I hadn't been taking the drugs at all.*
Agreed 100%, it is easy to fall into a cycle of well I can take my second dose later and squeeze some more hours out of the night. As far as food, that is the one really bad side effect of Desoxyn, Adderall suppressed my appetite, Desoxyn completely eliminated it, I can go days without eating and never have the urge to if I do not monitor it. At first I did not care because I was about 60lbs overweight, I am now slim could loose 10 more and be fit, but I am certainly not overweight anymore. I view this as a net positive given the long term ability to manage my weight, but now I stay on top of it.
*4) There is a distinct difference in my personality on days when I take my drugs and days I do not; see Good Changes, point (1). This can be hard for other people, especially romantic partners, to deal with.*
This is the one I hear from people but, the only thing my wife has said about me, is when my first dose kicks in, my feet hit the floor and I am going. I used to take an hour to get ready in the morning, I would do one thing, sit down, do another sit down. It took an hour to feel like I was just slightly awake.
