Not directly actionable but I would say very important: In the first year there is a major shift in priorities from yourself and as a couple to this new being in the mix. For my wife and I the lack of sleep, work stress and very little time to ourselves meant our relationship suffered. I would say with both our children, around the 9 month mark was probably the most difficult, with us at each other's throats a lot. The lack of sleep accumulated and made us quite irrational and short tempered. To add to this we uncovered that my wife's hormones were out of whack until 2.5 years after our 2nd child was born. In that time she dealt with depression and was generally the most unhappy I have ever seen her (which means that extended to me). Our youngest is now 6 and I can say things have been normal and wonderful for a couple years now. We have so much time available now for each other and of course for sleep.

I openly tell people about my experience because I have noticed so many friends and colleagues go through similar experiences. They all felt like they were the only ones and they felt like failures (as did we). When I think back it's quite normal to go through this when I consider what was happening in our world and the amazing changes that happened to my wife's body and mind.